By Wendy Johnstone, Director of Programs and Innovation, Family Caregivers of BC
“The most important things in life are the connections you make with others.” – Tom Ford
2023 was dubbed the Year of the Loneliness. Despite returning to life as we once knew it including re-connecting with our friends and family, loneliness continues to rise. It’s so concerning that the World Health Organization (WHO) has launched a new Commission on Social Connections. As humans, our connections to each other, our communities, and the place we live help protect and foster all aspects of our well-being. Yet, connections require us to act – to connect – to reap the benefits. Faced with a loss in previous habits and lifestyle, trying to integrate the demands of caregiving with work and family life or caring for a loved on a 24-hour basis, family caregivers often find themselves feeling isolated and lonely.
Sam, who is caring for an adult child living with a disability, found herself withdrawing. “I felt like my friends’ lives were moving forward and I was left behind and alone in my caregiving duties. I stopped going to our book club and meeting up for Sunday brunch. I found myself not wanting to talk about my life as it seems to only revolve around Danny’s circumstances. Who wants to hear about medical appointments and the ups and downs of caring?”
Caregiving itself creates isolation. Which is the exact opposite of what family caregivers need. The power of connection is the way forward to heal and finding ways to make it happen is the key to resilience and well-being.
Here’s the thing, it doesn’t need to take much. Even slowing down in the grocery store, making contact with another person and saying Hello or sharing a smile, results in a connection. Even a brief or small positive contact, gives a boost in our oxytocin (our feel-good hormone) and feeds our optimism. Or maybe it’s stopping in the street to pay affection to a furry friend or taking a short walk in nature provides the exact same benefits.
For Fred, who is caring for his wife at home, it was his connection with others in a caregiver support group who validated, empathized, and shared in his feelings and experiences.
“I try not to miss our weekly support group. I can find common ground with other caregivers in similar situations, and it offers me a community and connection, given how alone I feel in my caregiving. And beyond the weekly session, some of us grab a round of golf with each other. It’s been a lifesaver for me.”
For some caregivers, creating a circle of care honours and upholds the importance of relationships and allows for supportive connections. Circles of Care can evolve naturally when a caregiver needs more support and reaches out to their network. In other cases, a circle of care might need more formal facilitation. Regardless of its size or type, a caregiver is always at the center of the circle and can extend far beyond their immediate circle reaching into their community.
Connections are all around us. Investing in them are critical for caregivers to feel less alone, feel the warmth and support of others and cultivate a culture of connection.