By Aaron Yukich, Caregiver Support Line (CSL) Coordinator, FCBC
“I’ve come to realize that my role as caregiver for my care recipient is something that is going to be very consuming in the years ahead. I already find that I’m so focused on my care recipient’s care needs that I lose track of what I need and worry that my mental health may dwindle as time goes on. What can I do to ensure that I don’t lose myself in this experience and remain physically and mentally fit in my role as caregiver?”
Dear Worrying About Losing Oneself,
All too often we encounter family/friend caregivers that are completely consumed by the responsibilities of looking after their loved one. It is a noble act to care for another person so selflessly. But over time, a lack of attention to our own needs can be detrimental, leading to decreased mental and physical health, and when left unchecked, an eventual state of burnout.
At Family Caregivers of BC, we like to talk about the idea of finding a place of refuge amidst the storm–a place that offers protection against the inclement weather that is bound to present itself along the path of being a family/friend caregiver. This refuge may include more obvious self-care activities like exercise, a healthy diet, meditation/prayer or time with friends, but is also found in all the places that bring you strength, meaning and joy.
Sometimes finding the time to access our refuge can feel like a real obstacle, however, with a bit of creativity, we can find ways of inserting or layering moments of refuge throughout the day. Perhaps you can’t quite find the time to sit down and read a book the way you used to. Why not consider listening to an audiobook which you can purchase online or download for free through your local library? That way you can enjoy immersing yourself in a great story or learning something new as you go about the day. Maybe you’d love to have a little meditation practice but just don’t have the time. This may sound silly, but people have established very helpful meditation practices that they engage in for a few minutes at a time during their bathroom breaks, or during little time-outs throughout the day. While longer sessions have added benefits, even just a minute or two of following the natural rhythm of your in and out breaths can work wonders on calming your mind, balancing your nervous system, and helping you to reconnect more deeply with yourself. A third example is taking something ordinary like preparing a meal for your care recipient but then adding something personal to make it feel more special. This could be making a favourite dish that you haven’t had in a long time or, getting dressed up in a special outfit or, using the “good” dinnerware. Small changes can transport you into a place of celebrating yourself, turning what would have felt like an ordinary experience into a much more meaningful one.
TALK IT OUT WITH US!
We welcome your call. Anonymous and confidential. Call our Caregiver Support line here:
1-877-520-3267, 8:30 am – 4:00 pm PT, Monday to Friday