
It is hard to ask for help, but you cannot do caregiving alone.
The responsibilities of caregiving can often feel overwhelming and seem more than you can handle by yourself. More and more of your time and energy are consumed by navigating the healthcare system, finding resources, or figuring out how to meet someone else’s personal and medical needs. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed and stressed. You don’t have to do everything alone. In fact, it is essential that you ask for help and support from the very beginning to prevent burnout.
Asking for help is crucial to the well-being of both the family caregiver and the person receiving care. When you share the responsibility, you will have more time and energy for a normal relationship with your family member and to take care of yourself. You are less likely to become angry and resentful. The care recipient’s experience will also be enriched by having the opportunity to interact with more people.
Despite the fact that family caregivers are often overwhelmed with responsibility, many do not ask for help or reject help when it is offered. Asking for help can be difficult when we don’t know what we need, don’t want to be a burden, or feel guilty that we can’t do it all ourselves. Beliefs such as “no one can do this as well as I can” can also prevent caregivers from asking for help. It’s true that no one will do it exactly the same way as you, but that does not mean that others cannot be helpful in their own way. Recognize that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It means you are acknowledging the challenges of the situation and being proactive in resolving problems and preventing stress. It requires putting your pride aside and acting in the best interest of your family member and yourself.
First, admit that having some help will make a real difference to the care recipient’s quality of life—and yours as well. Identify what help you need. Which tasks are easiest to delegate? Which do you really want to do yourself? And which can you afford to pay others to handle?
Discuss your needs with family members and friends who might be willing to help. They may want to contribute but don’t know how. Create a list of tasks you need help with, then focus on each person’s strengths. Some may be better at personal care, while others may be more suited to helping around the house or running errands.
Contact your local health authority to find out what services are available, such as home support and respite. Many businesses, community organizations, and volunteer agencies offer services to help ease your load. People may not realize you need help unless you ask for it. Remember, you have the right to ask for help. Everyone will benefit when caregiving is shared.
Some common needs of caregivers include:
- Concrete, regular, and dependable help with caregiving tasks. Seek necessary assistance from both formal and informal sources available to you. Make a point of knowing what services are available in your community and the eligibility criteria. A family member or friend could help gather this information. Make a permanent list of tasks that need to be done, such as mowing the lawn, shopping, and providing transportation. Some tasks may be better suited to formal agencies.
- Someone who will listen non-judgmentally and will not offer unsolicited advice. Make a list of friends or others you feel comfortable with and turn to them for support.
- Respite: Time to renew your spirit and restore your body.
- Time to grieve and process the sadness of caring for a loved one with increasing and irretrievable losses.
- Time to laugh. A sense of humour is vital in maintaining perspective while coping with the constant demands of a devastating illness. Special friends who can take you away from caregiving tasks are invaluable.
- Time for self-indulgence or occasional pampering. Small pleasures or regular rituals can significantly contribute to the caregiver’s well-being.
- Good information is essential for understanding and coping with your loved one’s illness. Caregiving becomes easier when you understand that many unpredictable personality changes and behavioral issues are a result of the disease process, not the patient’s willful behavior.
- A safe place to ventilate. Mutual support and support groups can be incredibly helpful. Others with similar experiences understand your situation best and can offer effective, time-tested tips and techniques for coping and caregiving.
- Appropriate resources from the local community to assist with legal, financial, social, and long-term health care planning.
Asking for help is an important step toward better caregiving. By sharing responsibilities, you can reduce stress and focus on maintaining a healthy balance in your own life. Reaching out for support benefits both you and your loved one, allowing for a more fulfilling and sustainable caregiving journey.