By Aaron Yukich, Caregiver Rx Social Prescribing Project Lead, FCBC
I haven’t seen my friends in ages, and I always make up excuses whenever they ask me to go out for coffee. I take care of my husband at home, and while he is still healthy enough to be left alone for a couple of hours at a time, I find myself feeling incredibly guilty whenever I think about leaving him behind. What can I do to overcome this guilt and find a better balance between fulfilling my caregiving responsibilities and meeting my own needs? – Feeling Guilty
Dear Feeling Guilty,
It is quite common for caregivers to feel a sense of guilt when it comes to taking time for themselves. This could be for an outing with friends or time spent doing other activities that are meaningful to you. One way to navigate this emotional hurdle is by acknowledging your needs. Recognize that taking care of yourself is essential; it’s not selfish but necessary for your well-being and ability to care for someone else. Without self-care, you risk burning out, which can negatively impact the quality of care you provide.
Communicating openly with family and friends can also help. Share your feelings with them as they can provide much-needed support and reassurance that taking a break is not only acceptable but beneficial for everyone involved. Open communication can lead to practical solutions and shared responsibilities, making it easier for you to step away.
Setting boundaries is another crucial step. Establish clear limits to protect your time and energy. This might involve saying no to additional responsibilities or setting specific times when you plan to take a break from caregiving duties. Boundaries help create a sustainable caregiving routine and ensures that time is set aside for self-care.
Joining a support group can also be incredibly beneficial. Connecting with other caregivers can be validating and allows you to share experiences with people that may be facing similar challenges to your own. This can be comforting and provide practical tips for balancing caregiving with personal time.
We also encourage you to use your local caregiver support program, who can offer support and resources for managing guilt and stress and to support you in your self-care goals. If you don’t have a caregiver support group or program near you, please reach out to the BC Caregiver Support Line.
Lastly, practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself, understand that you are doing the best you can, and that it’s okay to prioritize your own needs. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend, you deserve it.
Sincerely,
The Caregiver Support Team