Dear Caregiver Support Line,
I have recently taken on the role of caregiver for my elderly mother, and I’m finding it incredibly challenging to adjust to this new lifestyle. My daily routine has changed drastically, and I often feel like I’ve lost a part of my identity in the process. I used to enjoy hobbies, socializing with friends, and having time for myself, but now I feel consumed by caregiving responsibilities. I’m struggling to find a new rhythm and meaning in my life while managing my caregiving duties. How can I navigate this transition and rediscover my sense of self among these changes? Any advice on how to create a fulfilling life as a caregiver would be greatly appreciated.
– New Caregiver
Dear New Caregiver,
Thank you for sharing so openly about what this transition has been like for you. The role of caregiving often comes with a deep sense of duty, and many of us feel we have to handle everything on our own.
The weight of caregiving can take a real toll on mental health, leading to guilt, exhaustion, and anxiety. It’s normal to feel the loss of parts of your life that once brought you joy and made you feel like yourself. What you’re experiencing is common.
Caregiving can affect emotional well-being in several ways:
Identity changes: Studies show caregivers commonly feel a sense of “role loss” or disconnection from who they were before caregiving.
Stress and fatigue: The caregiving role is associated with higher levels of chronic stress, which can affect mood, concentration, and energy.
Social Isolation: Many caregivers find their worlds become smaller as responsibilities increase.
Emotional overload: Feelings of guilt, anxiety, or grief are normal responses to a major life shift.
None of this means you’re doing anything wrong. It just means caregiving is a demanding role that affects the whole person. There are a few approaches other caregivers have found grounding:
1) Start with one small pocket of time for yourself. Even 10-20 minutes to walk, rest, read, or breathe can help you nervous system settle. See if you can work up towards 30-60 minutes a day.
2) Explore supports in your community that can share the load, like Home Support (public or private), respite, adult day programs, meal services, etc. These services exist so caregivers don’t feel they have to carry everything alone and can help prevent burnout.
3) Let others take part in care in ways that fit their abilities and time. For example, a neighbour visiting for an hour with the person you are caring for, a family member or friend doing an online shop or handling phone calls.
4) Reach out for emotional support. Look for a local support group or caregiver organization, FCBC’s Support Line or counselling. Talking through these changes with people who understand can make a big difference.
Most importantly, please know that finding your rhythm again takes time. Remember to be kind and patient with yourself as you navigate this major life transition. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness; it acknowledges that caregiving is tough and that we can’t do it all alone.
With Care – The Caregiver Support Team